Witch's Homework: The Untitled Question

Y'know, since it was Varka who came up with the whole idea of holding a "conference" with the Hexenzirkel, how come we never found out what task they gave him?

Let's see... Varka, Varka... Wait, why's it blank?

Why don't we just go ask him ourselves?

Good point... Well, knowing what he's like, we'd better start by checking all the local taverns and restaurants...

...Still not here, huh? Looks like I'll have to figure this out on my own.

Speak of the devil, huh?

Hey, Varka! We wanted to ask you about your "task"...

Oh, hey there, Honorary Knight and Paimon! My "task"...? What's all this about?

Now that you mention it, I'm pretty sure Alice did tell me something about that... I think?

You "think"? That "conference" of yours is why those "tasks" even exist in the first place! ...Ugh, anyway, why *is* yours blank?

...If I had to take a wild guess, probably 'cause it'd be too much for that little book of theirs to handle.

Now I'm listening.

My task... is to make the finest wine Teyvat has ever seen.

...How's that "too much"!?

Trust me, this is serious business... See this new scar on my arm? That's what it cost me just to get my hands on the recipe.

There I was, venturing into a deep, dark Domain, battling some of the fiercest, most vicious monsters I've ever seen...

Seriously...?

Now we're just three special ingredients short of finishing this thing! Honorary Knight, Paimon, would you be willing to lend me a hand?

Ugh, fine, why not... Since it's only three things, Paimon's just gonna pretend she buys your story.

Alright! Hehe... So, we still need "wood chips struck by knights," "pigeon feathers shed in joy," and "medicinal broth brewed in a large cauldron."

Wait a sec... Weren't we supposed to be making "wine"? This sounds like some kind of super suspicious potion!

Hmm, good point... Well, our taskmasters are a bunch of mages, after all!

We're following the recipe to the letter, so all three ingredients must adhere to their requirements. C'mon, let's get started with those wood chips!

So this is where we'll be getting those "wood chips struck by knights," huh...

Ah! Grand Master! Honorary Knight! Are you here to train as well?

Well, maybe not in a traditional sense... But we're here to pursue a goal, so I guess that counts too!

You're already so skilled, yet you still strive for perfection... Please, train however you like! I'll be taking notes from the side!

The training ground's all yours. Oh, to witness a pair of top masters in action... What luck!

Amazing! So THAT's how you do it...

Ugh... Why does Paimon feel like she's heard that reaction like a hundred times before...

Hmm... Yep, this'll do! The shape, the texture, the quality... brilliant.

How you can tell one wood chip apart from another is beyond Paimon... Whatever, as long as you're happy. Next up, those "pigeon feathers shed in joy"...

Hey! You've scared off all the pigeons...

...G—Grand Master?

Hey, if it isn't little Timmie! Grown up quite a bit, haven't you? Been eating well?

Y—Yes Sir! I always remember what you told me — that I've gotta eat well and exercise hard if I wanna grow up big and strong!

Well, guess that's the Varka effect... Honestly, Paimon would be shocked if there was a single kid in this city who didn't look up to our "living legend" over here!

Sorry for scaring your pigeons away.

I was actually gonna ask... Is there a way to approach pigeons without spooking them... while keeping them happy at the same time?

Hmm... To be honest, I usually just walk up to them quietly and scatter some feed...

Boom, that's it! Say, you got any extra feed on you right now?

I do have quite a bit, but... Grand Master... Um... What are you planning to do...?

Don't worry, little man, we just need to borrow a feather or two... You have my word!

Ah... Alright then, no problem! And thank you, Grand Master!

Looks like we've got ourselves some pigeon tracks. Let's wait here.

When they appear, walk up to them quietly and scatter the feed... but make sure not to hurt them. Ready?

Looks like we've got ourselves some pigeon tracks. Let's wait here.

When they appear, walk up to them quietly and scatter the feed... but make sure not to hurt them. Ready?

Coo...

Got 'em! The feathers are in the bag — I repeat, the feathers are in the bag.

Finally! This task really is harder than Paimon thought...

Just one more ingredient to go... "Medicinal broth brewed in a large cauldron." That's gotta be Dadaupa Gorge.

I'll head over there right away. Follow whenever you can, alright?

Hey, wait a—! Geez, talk about excited... That guy just took off faster than a flock of flustered pigeons...

...That old boozehound!

Hmm? Who's there?

Ah!

Diona? What are you doing here? And why were you hiding...?

I... I'm only here to pick some fruit, I swear! Just didn't expect I'd run into that piece of work all the way out here...

Ugh, he's been bugging me non-stop lately, trying to talk me into making him some drink again. I got so sick of it that I've been avoiding him whenever I can...

What's the story behind this drink, then?

So, you know how he returned recently with some of the expeditionary force, right? Well, guess what? Practically the first thing he did was swing by The Cat's Tail for a celebratory "drink or two"...

Seriously? Paimon thought they'd have just stayed back at the Knights of Favonius headquarters...

Always had Varka down as more of an Angel's Share kinda guy myself...

Ugh... Hence why I said "practically." They did all that, and more! The Cat's Tail was round three of a citywide tavern crawl...

...And Paimon bets they'll do it all over again the next time another batch of troops returns home.

No doubt about that.

Anyhoo, long story short, I couldn't bear the sight of those drunk old skunks for even one second longer! So I made it my mission to mix 'em the most disgusting, nauseating drinks in all of Teyvat...

But, Diona...

Yeah... So that's why I tried to get Prince to mix the drinks instead. Ugh, if only those drunkards hadn't started messin' with his meowjo...

...In the end, Prince ran off before he could finish. 'Least he gave that old boozer a nice big scratch on the way out! Hahahaha!

(Ahh, so that's how Varka got his scar...)

There I was, venturing into a deep, dark Domaintavern, battling some of the fiercest, most vicious monstersPrince I've ever seen...

Anyway, it was right there in front of me, one small step away from completion...

...So you applied the finishing touches yourself?

Yeah.

Just out of curiosity, let me ask one more thing...

Um... Some wood chips I noticed on the knights' clothes, some pigeon feathers I picked up in the forest...

...And some of the hilichurl herbal soup I was planning to turn into a remedy for sobering up.

Wait a sec... You said this all happened not long after Varka first got back, right? That must mean...

No one's told him...

Uh-oh, this could be bad! We've gotta go stop him before it's too late!

Unbelievable... Since when were hilichurls so amenable to reason?

Ella! You haven't seen Varka around here, have you!?

As a matter of fact, yes I have. Just now, he went off to borrow a "large cauldron" from the hilichurls... and get this — they gave it up as soon as they saw him!

The weirdest thing was, they barely exchanged any words at all. I just don't understand how it all went so smoothly... Could the Grand Master know some hilichurl body language that I'm unaware of?

Ugh, that's not the point here! Anyway, where is he now?

Right over there.

Finally, it's done! The finest wine in all of Teyvat... Right here, in my hands!

Varka! Don't—

Oh, hey gang — you finally made it! Those hilichurls just now were surprisingly reasonable... Didn't expect this to go half so smoothly, hah.

Anyway, time to find out what this bad boy tastes like!

...Wait, don't drink it!

Huh? You wanna taste it first? Hehe, dream on, kid... The honor of the first cup's mine!

That's not what I'm—

Don't worry! I'll leave some for ya!

*chug* *chug* Ahhh... Hrrgh?

Hold up... Why do I feel... so bad...

Varka! Are you okay? Varka? Varkaaa!

Grand Master!

Come on! You didn't defeat a god just to bite the dust here!

Ugh... Agh...

...For a moment there, I could've sworn I saw all the previous Knights of Boreas standing right here in front of me...

I don't know if I should chew you out for ending up like this...

Either way, I need a moment to digest it all... both the drink, and the lesson too.

Aha, so the missing ingredient was actually the spring fairy's blessing... Haha, never would've guessed!

Hey, don't you act all innocent! You still owe us one for trying to pull the wool over our eyes!

Sorry, sorry... Truth is, though, I genuinely believed it would work — and I was even planning to come clean over a drink or two afterwards, anyway...

But I guess... you probably don't wanna drink it anymore, do you?

I think... I'll pass.

Hmm... Well, guess I owe you one! How about this — I'll treat you to a meal at the Good Hunter once we're back.

Now that's more like it!

You're way too easy to bribe...

Oh, c'mon! You saw what a state he was in after he downed that cup. Paimon's sure he's learned his lesson!

*sigh* Guess I have no one to blame but myself, huh...

Aaaanyway... Back to the subject of your "task."

Haha, well... I was gonna save that story for the tavern, but I guess the open air will have to do.

...So you're giving "tasks" to everyone in Mondstadt, huh? Interesting idea... Do I get one, too?

Hah! Well, if you really must know, yours was to "change the fate reflected in the scryglass." But you already did that quite some time ago — the moment you decided to set off on your expedition, to be precise.

The old boozebrain will be okay, though, won't he?

We're ready.

Give me a moment...

We're ready.

Give me a moment...