A Free Lunch

Excuse me, young lad over there, yes, yes, you! You there, come, come on over!

Huh? Are you talking to us?

Oh, my friends, I immediately saw you are new here. You must not yet be very familiar with the Fortress of Meropide, then?

Congratulations on running into me today! I am the single nicest resident of the entire Fortress.

Today, allow me to help you familiarize yourself with the Fortress. Of course, it will all be "free."

Actually, I already know the place quite well.

Oh, don't say that!

Perhaps you think you've got your bearings, but under my guidance, I believe you'll discover all kinds of things you never noticed.

There's such a thing as a free lunch?

Of course, of course! Like I said, I'm the kindest resident of the entire Fortress.

Huh, this guy's kind of weird. We've only just met and he's all buddy-buddy!

Haha, my friend, think nothing of it! How about this, you two discuss it amongst yourselves first, and I'll wait over here to hear your decision.

Once you've made up your minds, come find me.

How about it? Have you come to a consensus?

You said it yourself, it must be absolutely free!

Of course, of course, it will be totally "free."

Come come come, now I will show you about the Fortress of Meropide!

This is the Coupon Cafeteria, and each person may claim one free Welfare Meal here each day.

The only problem is that what you get to eat is completely up to fate.

Hmm, is that all? This is just stuff anyone learns on their first day!

Calm down, calm down, I have some secret information as well. They say there is a secret codeword you can say to Bran when claiming your Welfare Meal, which will allow you to obtain the legendary mystery meal!

Ah, really? What codeword?

Unfortunately, I do not know. Regarding the codeword, I await the day you discover it for yourselves.

That's totally Paimon's line!

Do not worry about such trivial details! Our next stop, the Tri-Coupon Troupe!

This is the location of the Tri-Coupon Troupe.

Huh? Is that the entire intro?

Didn't you manage to associate that with anything? Where there is a troupe, there is drama! Where there is drama, there is romance! Where there is romance, there is love!

They say that as long as you come here and watch their performances every day, you will find your true love.

Are there really rumors like that? Then shouldn't everyone be gathered here every day?

That is so, but for it to come true, you cannot be a prisoner or a guard of the Fortress of Meropide.

So nobody can ever meet their true love!

Perhaps that is the crux of the problem. Regardless, let us head to our next destination first.

This is... the lift to the production zone.

This place doesn't have strange rumors too, does it?

No, that is does not. It's just that I really hate this place.

Oh? Why's that?

Because...

Because...?

Because I don't wanna work!

I'm only here because I didn't wanna work, so I stole a loaf of bread to feed myself because I was so hungry, and was sentenced as a result.

So why, why do you still have to work in the Fortress of Meropide!?

"Any little bit of work will knock me out!" That's my life's motto.

Gah! It feels like he's getting all weird just being here, let's get out of here and go to the next place.

Okay, friends! We're finally at my favorite facility: The Pankration Ring! This place is our paradise!

This place... Is it really that great? That feels way different from what Paimon's heard...

Of course, but don't listen to those outside rumors. That's just an image intended to fool others. Come, come, come, I have a consent form over here, if you just sign it...

Hey! It's you again! Tricking people into signing consent forms to register for the competition again, are we? You won't escape this time!

You two are quite lucky that I noticed just before you were going to sign those forms!

In any case, ignore this fraud. He and the organization behind him specialize in tricking unsuspecting people into dangerous competitions, and they earn a profit from it.

Don't make up things like that! I haven't tricked anyone! They're all my friends, and they're just signing up willingly after I recommending it to them as a friend!

Right, I'm sure. I know a better place for you to spout your nonsense. With me, now!

Phew... There's no such thing as a free lunch after all!